Problems are temporary, but relationships are forever.
In business as in life, problems show up all the time. Deadlines slip. Deals stall. Plans change. And in the moment, it can feel like everything hinges on solving that one urgent issue. In these pressing situations, we aren’t always on our best behavior. We haven’t the time nor the patience for polite language and social courtesies. We give ourselves a “get-it-done” hall pass.
But here’s what experience has taught me: most problems are temporary. What lasts is how we treat each other while frantically seeking a solution.
I’ve negotiated high-stakes boardrooms, navigated global crises, and managed through tough transitions. The challenges were real, but it was the relationships that carried us forward. Sure, everyone had the occasional bad day. But our mutual respect helped us overlook a minor gripe or misdirected expletive. It never escalated because we had already built trust. And that’s what opened doors, fostered cooperation, and made the next challenge a little easier to face together.
Of course, it can be hard to take the long view when it feels like a problem is poking you in the eye. Here are four tips I’ve found useful:
Solve the problem, protect the relationship. It’s not about ignoring the issue. It’s about how you show up while solving it. Stress is not a permission slip to abandon civility.
Assume good intent. Most people want to do the right thing. Even when tensions are high, there’s room for empathy and patience.
Lead with perspective. You can be decisive and still be human. Don’t let the pressure of the moment override the value of the connection. Make sure people know that you value them and their opinions, even if you choose a different path.
At the end of the day, people remember how you made them feel more than the gravity of any problem you fixed. Difficulties, even urgent ones with dire circumstances, don’t justify bad behavior or broken relationships. Relationships are the currency of leadership; you need to invest in people with care and consideration. You’ll be glad to have banked that equity when things really get tough. You’ll have people to celebrate with when they get better.
