Monthly Archives: September 2016

Stop waiting for a response you’re never going to get

29 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in expectations

≈ 1 Comment

Sometimes we have expectations of others that they can never live up to. Sometimes we want something from people that they just aren’t equipped to give us. The result is frustration, which is an absolute energy drain. This often happens with family members — parents, siblings, or children who just don’t show us love in the precise way we want to be loved.

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It can also happen with clients, bosses, and coworkers. They don’t have the sense of humor we crave. They’re too private and won’t open up. They don’t give us the pat on the back we’ve earned.

In these situations, we have two choices. We can quit — we can divorce, fire or disown these people. Or we can focus on controlling the only part of the relationship we can control. That would be our own expectations.

If your client is Oscar the Grouch, don’t expect a congratulatory fist bump when you’ve delivered an amazing result on a tough assignment. You’re never going to get it. But do the amazing work you always do anyway. Be gracious and professional. Give those hugs and fist bumps to your own team members. In other words, model the behavior you’d like to see. But leave your frustration — along with unrealistic expectations — in the garbage can with Oscar.

Agree, disagree, have a different take? Send me a comment and let’s discuss.

Let’s connect on Twitter as well @bpriestheck.

Taking it personally to make it personal

15 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Design, experiences, personalize, personas

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How many times have you heard this: “Don’t take it personally!” This directive usually accompanies a statement that is offensive to our colleagues, our alma mater, or some other group we identify with, such as: “Don’t take it personally, but everyone I’ve met from your law firm is an entitled jerk.”

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How can you NOT take that personally? And why is taking it personally a bad thing? Maybe if we took these comments to heart, we could help effect a positive change.

Conversely, as marketers, we urge our people to personalize messages when engaging consumers, without regard to how we might inadvertently offend them by getting it wrong. In a recent study conducted by Forbes Insights, in collaboration with Oracle Marketing Cloud, 38-percent of the marketers and agencies surveyed indicated that they don’t effectively deliver timely content tailored to specific customer personas. The intention is there, but not the follow through. Case in point—how many email messages have you received that didn’t even get your gender right?

Fortunately, in the world of face-to-face marketing, we can invite a broad spectrum of people (e.g., people who want a new car) and then design experiences that let them self-identify (those who only want a sports car, and only from a specific few manufacturers). That means we have a better opportunity than most to make each experience personal. We do this by thinking about what individuals want out of the experience. And we strive to make it more human, intelligent, thoughtful, interactive and meaningful.

If we’ve learned anything from the Internet, it’s that the future is about letting people make their own choices and create their own universe. We can fight the disruption, or we can be the disruption. In experiential marketing, it’s no longer about the one brand speaking to the many. Or even the “many to many,” as on YouTube. It’s about creating opportunities for many people to connect on a one-to-one basis.

When we “take it personally” as content curators, we acknowledge that peoples’ interests, passions and needs are uniquely different. We can then design-in various opportunities for people to choose for themselves how and what they experience. That’s how we get it right. That’s how we make it personal.

When Mr. Hyde shows up uninvited…

01 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in behavior, meetings, personas

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Office meetings provide a great opportunity to study human behavior. I am always amazed at how the personas of people I work with and enjoy can suddenly change based on the group dynamic.

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One behavior I’ve come to recognize is the Dr. Jekyll-and-Mr. Hyde effect that happens when a generally mild-mannered person tries to dominate a meeting or conversation. Nine times out of ten, it’s a signal that the person is feeling insecure about something. It may be that they haven’t worked out the bugs in the idea they’re presenting or the position they want to defend. Or the lack of confidence may be because they feel threatened by, or jealous of, someone in the room. Maybe they just feel ill-prepared because they didn’t do their homework and are trying to bluff their way through. As a result, they try to dominate the conversation, make it hard for anyone else to suggest an idea, and act like an annoying boor. Or worse.

This recently happened at a backyard barbecue with neighbors. A family friend, invited to mix with other neighbors for the first time, suddenly started acting like the casual banter was a championship tennis match that she had to win. Her voice became loud. Her opinions were stated with absolute authority. No one else was allowed to interject a thought.

The next day, my wife was still furious that our friend could become so aggressive without provocation. But I recognized the behavior pattern from years of observing people who try to dominate business meetings. So I shared with my wife the rule I’ve adopted for myself. You can be angry about it, or you can have empathy for whatever is driving the insecurity. You can “bench” people for being annoying, or you can “coach” them to play well with others. You may not be able to give them a hug in a meeting room – but you can prop them up with a kind word, show that you’re interested in the idea, and take the emotional volume down a notch.

Eventually, most people take the hint that Dr. Jekyll has more influence than Mr. Hyde and stop bringing him to meetings.  But if you ever get trapped in a meeting or backyard BBQ by a bombastic boor, at least you’ll recognize the symptoms, and can look for a remedy.